Sign in | New here? Sign Up
A community of cancer survivors supporting each other.

Gemma's Cancer Blog

Gemma's Memorial
February 5, 1988 - October 25, 2008

candleRest in Peace....
by Karen
candleRemembering you with love, sweet Gemma
by Aunt Mary Lou
candle
by
candleHappy 23rd birthday my sweet girl.
by Mum
candleRest with the Lord
by Finney
candleRest in Peace.
by Bella
candle
by Marie
candleGemma, I hope wherever you are, you are at peace
by Morgan
candleGemma, I hope wherever you are, you are at peace
by Morgan
candleGemma, I hope wherever you are you are at peace
by Morgan
candleEven now you touch so many lives
by Chris
candleHappy Birthday my lovely Gemma
by momma
candleYour story will be shared
by Shan
candleyour job was done here. God needed you more
by
candleI am very sorry! Best wishes!
by Janet
candleAlmost a year-can't believe you are gone. I love you my Gemma.
by Mom
candleI miss you so much.
by Sister
candlePlease tell my twin hi. She is awesome. Hope your family will heal until they can be with you again. I like to think my twin is on a greatest trip and I am joining her after I get my work done ( living) . You are beautiful, already looked like an angel. P
by Barb
candleI still cannot get over the fact that you have gone
by someone who loves you
candlei think of you everyday, love you
by aunt cindi
candleUntil we meet again - Love you
by Aunt Debbie
candleI love and miss you dear heart.
by Jenny
candleyou now have wings!!
by Diane
candleI thiught of you on your b'day...
by A friend
candleI know the Angels all got together and sang Happy Birthday to you!
by Karen
candle
by a Stranger
candleHappy Birthday, sweetheart.
by Aunt Mary Lou
candleHAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY
by Nancy Glass
candleYou are here in our hearts.
by Siddharth
candleRIP
by Lana
candleGemma's Family-I wish you peace as she is in peace
by Donna Richno
candleSweet angel
by Kellye
candleRIP Angel
by Karin
candleI'll miss you always, but rest now. <3
by Pam
candle
by Michael Cox
candle
by Karen
candle
by austin
candlemiss you
by craig,jenn and family
candleMissing you...
by A friend
candleGod blessed our family when he gave you to us, you are my angel now, love you.....
by Aunt Donna
candleA wonderful friend. XOXO
by Lisa
candleI love you, Gemma, and I miss you every day.
by Steven K.
candleYou made a difference! by a friend
by Kimbo
candle
by Karen
candleyou will never be forgotten
by Soledad
candleGone but never forgotten!! Love Always
by Cuz Billy
candle...an extraordinary soul who won endless hearts
by Gaile
candleYou made the world a better place.....by Karen
by Staypositive
candlewe all miss you very much. Rachel
by Rachel
candleWe were so privileged to have you in our lives.
by Aunt Kathleen
candlelove you sweetheart
by grandma
candlealways in my heart
by aunt cindi
candleWe were all blessed just to know you. I will miss you forever.
by Molly
candleMy baby My Gemma I miss you.
by mom
candleThe world has lost a beautiful light
by A friend
candleI miss you, sweet Gemma!
by Darcie
candleI can't wait to see you again.
by Her sister
candlePeace be with Gemma and her family
by Kelly Gullo
candleyour strength and wisdom lives on.
by Celeni
candleRest in peace
by Cindy
candleA beautiful soul
by Jalene
candle
by Melissa Samei
candleMiss you
by Yuyu
candleTo a loving child we will miss you.
by Sherri
candleWe love you, Gem.
by Taff
candleBeautiful Angel
by Monica
candleOur Guardian Angel
by Angelwthwingz
candleGod's Angel
by Sonia
candleWise souls never die.You are here in our hearts.
by Louise
candleR I P
by angelive
candleI miss my friend
by Mac
candleYou will never be forgotten
by Jill

Light a Candle

Please Sign In or Sign Up in order to light a candle.

Always looking for the light

I can say that I'm okay today and have been since I've gotten my Zoemeta treatment. My tumor causes high rates of calcium to be pumped into my blood stream and that puts me at risk for heart failure. You wouldn't believe how just a few points above "normal" can have an effect on you. Tired all the time, not hungry and not thirsty. Finally my mom can go back to work and breath easy for a while since I can now take care of myself by walking up and down stairs, getting my own food which I'm actually hungry for and filling and refilling my water bottle. I'm not worried, I've been slightly removed from home hospice and I'm only getting home care. A nurse 1-2 times a week will check up on me and my vitals. Even though I'm completely aware this tumor is growing bigger I don't feel as if I'm running out of time as fast as I thought I was. There is still there has to be; a chance something's going to save me and thousands of women in my situation coming up soon. Now that I'm feeling better my mom went ahead and contacted Zac's mom Darcie went right ahead and booked a flight for me to visit down there with Delta for the 14th (2 years already!)- 20th. 1 week there, then I go home and see Zachary come up the following week. I'm feeling pretty positive and I thank all of those who have commented on the previous post each one made me feel a touch of comfort and each X & O I hope to give back double fold. Hang in there, you know there is always something bright and warm in this odd world.
Photobucket
Also here's some Theodore, he was sharing my prayer shawl with me earlier. I would love to catch him while in movement but that's neigh impossible. He's a terrier, do you know how fast those little legs can go?
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.
I love the picture of Theodore! Can you bring him with you. I know Elijah and him would have a blast together for a week! Can't wait to see you Gem! Still praying for you. Glad your "de-calcium" treatment is making you feel better. Love ya, Darcie
Hi Gemma, I am so glad you posted. You have been on my mind and I was wondering how you were doing. I lived a little larger the day of your last posting. You give me the courage to go higher. Thank you. You are in my prayers every night and on my deck when its not to cold. I believe in miracles. I recently read Deepok Chopra's book Mind body Medicine. He talks about visualizing a blast of white snow hitting your tumor and vaporizing. I love your doggie photo. Love Kathleen
Gemma, I have been thinking about you. I am glad you are keeping your positive spirit. You must be excited to go and see your boyfriend. I hope you'll have a great time! Yuyu
I am so glad to hear from you. Love you keep you near my heart Sherri
Gemma, I thought about you all night last night. I'm happy you're able to take a trip and escape the world of cancer for awhile. You must be so excited to see Zac. It's also fantastic that you'll also get to look forward to seeing him again when you return home. I also feel for your mother - I'm sure that sounds strange - but I always said while going through my cancer treatments that I was not the brave one... that it was my mother. She never showed any fear or tears when she was taking care of me. I never saw her upset or cry or become weak while she was taking care of me. I know that I would never have the strength that my mother had if my own child was going through the same illness. I know I would just crumble. It's just amazing that our mothers are so strong for us. The bond between mother and child... that is a love that cannot ever be broken. Also Gemma, whenever I read your posts, I'm always enlightened by your bravery and your beautiful spirit. You are special to everyone you have touched in life. * Theodore is a doll! What a sweetie. I hope you get to bring him on your trip as well. Take care! Kelly
Gemma! What a beautiful light is shining from you. I am thrilled that you are feeling better and more able to do things. Your trip is just what you need. i am so happy for you. Keep shining on, you are amazing. Always in my prayers.
Glad to hear from you. Just keep us posted and w'ere always here for you to listen and pray and hope that miracles always happen. We love you, Gemma. Leah
I had never heard your name before logging on here and reading your posts. Well, now it seems like your name is all over. One of my chemo nurses was named Gemma. And yesterday I had a patient named Gemma-a beautiful, sweet, strong little girl. I am glad that you're going to see Zac, and he's going to visit you as well. Is Theodore going with you?
Dear Gemma; I guess it's about time to respond. I have been absent from the blog for a couple of days atleast. I am more than happy to hear about your gaining strength. This is great news. Why is it you are so strong? I guess you have a quality that is special, very personal and something that comes along so sparingly, that it is YOU that is appointed to pave the way for us weak ones. Now I say that for just me, not us. I have no idea how you feel, why it is you that is the appointed one, why you should be my personal guide to enlightenment. I will take everything you have and put it away in my mind and heart forever. I was not blessed to have children, which is a sorrowful feeling at this age. I am 58, married happily, but now know what I have been missing. This was not my choice but the divine maker that made it so. I know this sounds silly but there are always reasons why we are, where we are, when we are and how we are. I have no answers, but you my dear, have given so many reasons to believe it is possible to be young, brave, soulful, energetic, loving, forgiving, and all the other stuff that might not sound so good. Meaning angry, questioning, disallusioned, disappointed, frightened, perplexed at life, and you should feel that, why not. That is why you mean so much to so many of us. You never feared to let your soul run free, to let us in on your feelings. Do you know how much that means to many of us who have dared to do this until Cancer came along? You showed all of us no matter how young a person can be, they also have fight, desire, wisdom beyond their years, (that's you), you can teach us along the way of cancer, prove to us that this is just a step towards finding ourselves and realizing we all have a stamp, a need to be here and share. I love you Gemma even if you don't know me all that well. You have given me so much you really don't know. Weezie
Dear Gemma, How. Was. Your. Trip?! I know you must be tired from the trip, so don't feel pressure to post. I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that your trip was wonderful and that you are still feeling well. Peace, Kathy
Gemma and Aunt Kathleen, I left a comment for you on Celeni's blog in response to Aunt Kathleen's comment there. I am sending much love and prayers for all of you. We have all been concerned and thank you Kathleen for letting us know. Give Gemma big hugs form us. Gaile
Gemma and Aunt Kathy, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, Aunt Kathy, for updating us on Gemma. She has been on my mind and my heart breaks to hear that she is having a rough time right now. She is an amazing young lady and I think I can truly say that she is loved by all of us on here. Miracles still happen and I will be praying hard for my dear young friend. Give her my love and a big hug and keep us posted as often as you can. I will also be praying for you and for all the family because it is so hard to see your loved ones suffer. Hugs and blessings, Joyce In NC
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.

So much is too much.

I decided that chemo was not working and my oncologist agreed with me. It only made me sick. I now am in hospice care and I'm trying to keep my head up thinking only of life and not of death. The tumor is growing rapidly; I feel it. I'm disappointed, I was asked what I wanted to do if I could and I wanted to say "Live till I'm 80" but that is not a wish anyone but God can grant. I was such the dreamer when I was little. The typical little girl who just wanted to grow up to get married and have a family. As time chips on everything seems so un-plausable. First it was "Okay, I'm missing one ovary, no big deal." Second "Maybe I shouldn't have children if I have this gene, adoption is an something I embraced." Now I just feel getting through the rest of the week is going to end up being a wonder in itself. It makes me wish there was a deterrent I can sprinkle around myself hoping that everyone will forget me and stop loving me so much. I only see a miracle saving me because I feel there is not one person on this entire earth who can cure what I have. I also apologize for not posting in a while. I just needed to gear myself up to pour our these thoughts.
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.
Gemma! Gemma! This is so heartbreaking. I have tears streaming down my face. I wish I could take that tumor from you and kick it out of here. or take a part of it and fight it with you. I am going to be fighting that damn tumor mentally for you everyday. We will never forget you and never stop loving you! Embrace everyones love and let that love make you stronger and never feel guilty about it.
Dear Gemma, Well, my wish for you is that you are able to fully enjoy every single day of your life. My heart breaks to hear you so disappointed. Not to disappoint you further, but no one who has gotten to know you here is able to forget you and we can't stop loving you. I'll be sending love and healing energy out to you every day. Peace and blessings to you, dear one.
I applaud your courage! You have made decisions well beyond your years and in so doing have shown all of us wisdom and bravery that will always be remembered. Someitmes it seems odd to care so very much about people I don't "know" but I must admit I am heartbroken along side everyone else who has come to love you. I will pray for your miracle everyday. Put your trust in Jesus for He is able. If you find a vanishing powder please do not use it. I would be a poorer soul had I not met you, and having you vansih would not impact how much everyone here and there cares for you. Think positive thoughts and rest. Hugz Mac
Dear Gemma; How strange. I was writing you on your last post when in popped a new one from you. That I was thinking of you when you were writing such a note is kind of a kismet but not the news I was anticipating at all. Are you doing hospice at home or outside of home? Could you tell me your surroundings and how you are finding the care? I am so wanting to give you a hug and say it will be alright, you will be in God's hands and all the other religous stuff that isn't going to change anything. I guess you can tell I am not a religious person but I do believe in reincarnation. I had a dream the other night of a little boy about 4 years old, with dark hair and crystal blue eyes, stretching his arms out to me. I kept asking the people around me "where are his parents and what is the boy's name. Noone responded. At that moment upon waking I realized it was my Father. He is living and breathing in a different time zone. He would be in real life now, 89 years old. It occured to me that we do go on, our soul carries on and our lives are not lived in vain. Of all the people I have met on this blog you are the wisest, most cherished and talented writer I have ever encountered. I look for your posts, I can't wait to read them. I hope you will, if you feel up to it, write, write as much as you can to us and to your personal diary. I have learned so much from you and I do go back and reread what you have posted. It makes things clearer. You know how loved you are at the Blog and that just shows you how important you have been to us. I am hurting to hear your news and at this time of course, there isn't any way to say anything that would change the facts. I will leave the writings of others to implant their faith your way. I do hope that the drugs you are receiving are alleviating any pain. That is important! If not scream for some because there is no reason that you should have to go through that as well. My dear Gemma, I am just having a really hard time here so I will sign off for now. Loving you has been a privledge. Weezie
Gemma, You are in my thoughts every day. In fact, there were 6 of us praying for you just this morning. The same ones that prayed over the prayer shawl you received this week. We pray that as you wrap up in it you will feel Jesus' arms surrounding you and keeping you. We pray that love, peace and joy fills you, your Mom, your sister and your home! His joy is your strength! You are a dear precious daughter of God Almighty. I know that He is going to fill your nights with dreams and your days visions from Him. He has tucked you away in the safety of His wing. Rest in Him. God is bigger than the tumor! Through Him ALL things are possible and there is nothing impossible for Him! Love you, Darcie
Oh Gemma, You are in my thoughts daily. I am not very good at expressing myself but you are loved by so many people and have touched so many. My 12 year old asks daily have you posted anything. You are on the prayer list in her religion class at school. You are such a beautiful person. I am sending you a hug and pray that you are able to be kept comfortable. All my love, Kellye
My dear gemma,, it hurts all of us to see you in this situation... our hearts are now heavy and yet you said that you believe that there is no one on this earth that is able to cure ,, and maybe you are right,,, Funny how God closes a door but leaves a window open,, and maybe it is time to turn totally to Him for that miracle.. We here shall continue to pray to God for your healing of this dreaded desease,, but you must remember that He is the healer and anything and everything can be done by Him.. So put your faith totally in Him while your friends here pray up a storm for you ... We all know of your suffering and how it affects your life on this beautiful earth,, yet,, i ask you to give it all over to Him and let Him to what is necessary.. And so I ask all the people who reads this to come with me as one in seeking God and to receive His physical and emotional and spiritual healing within you .... God bless,, my dear sweet girl but never, i say never give up hope .. let us pray in unity of one
Gemma, I don't think I have written you before, but I am here now. I will pray for you every night. I know your body is stronger then this stupid cansor. I have read your past blogs. You are so strong. I am here. I am here. Love Kathleen
My dear Gemma, It is so good to hear from you but my heart is breaking. I wish it was in my power to trade places with you right now. You are such a special young lady and nothing you or anyone could do would stop me from loving you or make me EVER forget you. I will be praying for that miracle you need. Love and many hugs, Joyce In NC
Gemma, Last night I went to the highest place in my house which is a deck outside my bedroom. It was a clear night and I prayed harder then ever for your miracle. With tears in my eyes I asked that this beautiful girl be restored to perfect health. I believe in miracles. You are so loved here. Kathleen
Gemma, You are one strong, courageous, brave, and beautiful young lady. I admire you. I am here, we are all here, praying for you. Big Hugs, Yuyu
Gemma,I support your choice to stop chemo. Sometimes you just have to let your body rest. I don't know why you would want people to forget you------you have made a difference in so many lives. I just looked at your stats and it says over 14,000 people have read your posts. Like so many others, I have enjoyed hearing about your family, friends and puppies because your 'voice' is rich, cheerful, young and energetic. I am not a praying person, but my thoughts are with you every day wherever you are. Take care.
My dear friend, You are never far from my thoughts. I am blessed to know you. I will continue my prayers along with the others, and pray for a miracle. But I must say that you have been a miracle. You have given hope and insipration to so many, including me. I wish I could hug you and hold you. I wish that all of this pain and suffering would go away. You say that you want everyone to forget you, but that won't happen. Let the love that we all have for you surround and carry you at this time. Know that you are special and that you matter to so many. Please keep us posted if you can. XOXO Lisa
Hi Gemma, My wish for you is just enjoy each day while your around and believe and trust to our almighty god that miracles happen to you. I will be one of your prayer warrior and visualize that you are healthy and always put a big smile in your face and keep on writing us and we're here to support and listen to you. How I wish I could give you a hug at this time. You really inspire us so much for being so strong . We love you, Gem.
Dear Sweet Gemma, You are so loved by so many. That is a good thing for all of us. You are an amazing young woman. So many of us have been asking each other if anyone had heard from you, because we all care so much. We have grown to know you, and your love for little Theodore, over these months. If we have grown to care for you so much, and yet have not met you, I imagine those who share their lives with you are deeply attached to you. They are lucky as you have enriched their lives. Let them continue to love you. It is the most wonderful gift you can give to them. We are all praying for that miracle for you. Know that there is strength in numbers, and you have quite a large group of supporters. Much love Gemma, Gaile and your "Cancer Sucks" team
'LOVE COMING YOUR WAY" Sherri
I find myself speechless...all the words in my heart have been spoken by so many others here. You have been such an inspiration to me...your courage...such a wise "old soul" in such a young beautiful woman. I wish you peace on your journey to a better place...and you will always be loved. Celeni
Gemma - I am thinking of you today and wondering how you are doing. Sending you lots of love!
Hi Gemma, Have you thought about a second opinion and maybe a third. You are so young and your cancer was not a Stage 4. Can't they operate on the growing tumor? I don't understand why that is not an option. Is there another type of chemotherapy you can take? I do not understand why your doctor gave up? Maybe you should fire the doctor and get another doctor. I've had to do that before. I am talking to God about you and asking for your total healing and I have others praying for you and people on this Blog are praying. Miracles do happen--keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll get the miracle of life you want. Love, prayers and hugs to ya. sweete2 My email is grandsktn1@yahoo. com
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.
rollerFetching more entries....
avatar
(February 5, 1988 - October 25, 2008)

Vital Info

Posts

January 29, 2007

aim:MissisTook

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

February 5, 1988

Cancer Survivor

Cancer Info

Ovarian Cancer

November, 2006

Stage 1

over 6.1

Grade 1

No

Electrolytes plummeted which caused -> no appetite, night sweats/fever, dizziness, headaches, inability to walk, fatigue.

Stats

Posts:
65
Photos:
5
Events:
0
Supporters:
49
Friends:
16
Comments:
-Made:
57
-Received:
279
Views:
-Posts:
129430
-Photos:
21578

New Here?

Sign up to comment or create your own blog. Already a member? Sign in