MissisTook
gemmag's Cancer Blog
October 6, 2008
| Always looking for the light | Views: 699 |
I can say that I’m okay today and have been since I’ve gotten my Zoemeta treatment. My tumor causes high rates of calcium to be pumped into my blood stream and that puts me at risk for heart failure. You wouldn’t believe how just a few points above “normal” can have an effect on you. Tired all the time, not hungry and not thirsty.
Finally my mom can go back to work and breath easy for a while since I can now take care of myself by walking up and down stairs, getting my own food which I’m actually hungry for and filling and refilling my water bottle.
I’m not worried, I’ve been slightly removed from home hospice and I’m only getting home care. A nurse 1-2 times a week will check up on me and my vitals.
Even though I’m completely aware this tumor is growing bigger I don’t feel as if I’m running out of time as fast as I thought I was. There is still there has to be; a chance something’s going to save me and thousands of women in my situation coming up soon.
Now that I’m feeling better my mom went ahead and contacted Zac’s mom Darcie went right ahead and booked a flight for me to visit down there with Delta for the 14th (2 years already!)- 20th. 1 week there, then I go home and see Zachary come up the following week.
I’m feeling pretty positive and I thank all of those who have commented on the previous post each one made me feel a touch of comfort and each X & O I hope to give back double fold. Hang in there, you know there is always something bright and warm in this odd world.
Also here’s some Theodore, he was sharing my prayer shawl with me earlier. I would love to catch him while in movement but that’s neigh impossible. He’s a terrier, do you know how fast those little legs can go?
Carmen 
Michael Cox 
crystalala 
Thanks for your support -
I love the picture of Theodore! Can you bring him with you. I know Elijah and him would have a blast together for a week! Can’t wait to see you Gem! Still praying for you. Glad your “de-calcium” treatment is making you feel better.
Love ya,
Darcie
Hi Gemma,
I am so glad you posted. You have been on my mind and I was wondering how you were doing. I lived a little larger the day of your last posting. You give me the courage to go higher. Thank you. You are in my prayers every night and on my deck when its not to cold. I believe in miracles. I recently read Deepok Chopra’s book Mind body Medicine. He talks about visualizing a blast of white snow hitting your tumor and vaporizing. I love your doggie photo.
Love
Kathleen
Gemma,
I have been thinking about you. I am glad you are keeping your positive spirit. You must be excited to go and see your boyfriend. I hope you’ll have a great time!
Yuyu
I am so glad to hear from you.
Love you keep you near my heart
Sherri
Gemma,
I thought about you all night last night. I’m happy you’re able to take a trip and escape the world of cancer for awhile. You must be so excited to see Zac. It’s also fantastic that you’ll also get to look forward to seeing him again when you return home.
I also feel for your mother – I’m sure that sounds strange – but I always said while going through my cancer treatments that I was not the brave one… that it was my mother. She never showed any fear or tears when she was taking care of me. I never saw her upset or cry or become weak while she was taking care of me. I know that I would never have the strength that my mother had if my own child was going through the same illness. I know I would just crumble.
It’s just amazing that our mothers are so strong for us. The bond between mother and child… that is a love that cannot ever be broken.
Also Gemma, whenever I read your posts, I’m always enlightened by your bravery and your beautiful spirit. You are special to everyone you have touched in life.
Kelly
Gemma!
What a beautiful light is shining from you. I am thrilled that you are feeling better and more able to do things. Your trip is just what you need. i am so happy for you. Keep shining on, you are amazing. Always in my prayers.
Glad to hear from you. Just keep us posted and w’ere always here for you to listen and pray and hope that miracles always happen. We love you, Gemma.
Leah
“There is always something warm and bright in this odd world”. That is such a pleasant thought and so well put. I’m going to hold onto that thought and hope you do also, Gemma. I know sometimes when things get rough it is difficult to remember such things.
I can’t tell you how happy I was to hear that you are feeling better and that now you have the trip to see your boyfriend to look forward to. I will continue to think of you often and wish you all the best.
Joan
I had never heard your name before logging on here and reading your posts. Well, now it seems like your name is all over. One of my chemo nurses was named Gemma. And yesterday I had a patient named Gemma-a beautiful, sweet, strong little girl. I am glad that you’re going to see Zac, and he’s going to visit you as well. Is Theodore going with you?
Dear Gemma; I guess it’s about time to respond. I have been absent from the blog for a couple of days atleast. I am more than happy to hear about your gaining strength. This is great news. Why is it you are so strong? I guess you have a quality that is special, very personal and something that comes along so sparingly, that it is YOU that is appointed to pave the way for us weak ones. Now I say that for just me, not us. I have no idea how you feel, why it is you that is the appointed one, why you should be my personal guide to enlightenment. I will take everything you have and put it away in my mind and heart forever. I was not blessed to have children, which is a sorrowful feeling at this age. I am 58, married happily, but now know what I have been missing. This was not my choice but the divine maker that made it so. I know this sounds silly but there are always reasons why we are, where we are, when we are and how we are. I have no answers, but you my dear, have given so many reasons to believe it is possible to be young, brave, soulful, energetic, loving, forgiving, and all the other stuff that might not sound so good. Meaning angry, questioning, disallusioned, disappointed, frightened, perplexed at life, and you should feel that, why not. That is why you mean so much to so many of us. You never feared to let your soul run free, to let us in on your feelings. Do you know how much that means to many of us who have dared to do this until Cancer came along? You showed all of us no matter how young a person can be, they also have fight, desire, wisdom beyond their years, (that’s you), you can teach us along the way of cancer, prove to us that this is just a step towards finding ourselves and realizing we all have a stamp, a need to be here and share.
I love you Gemma even if you don’t know me all that well. You have given me so much you really don’t know.
Weezie
Dear Gemma,
How. Was. Your. Trip?! I know you must be tired from the trip, so don’t feel pressure to post. I just want you to know that I’m thinking of you and hoping that your trip was wonderful and that you are still feeling well.
Peace,
Kathy
Gemma and Aunt Kathleen,
I left a comment for you on Celeni’s blog in response to Aunt Kathleen’s comment there. I am sending much love and prayers for all of you. We have all been concerned and thank you Kathleen for letting us know. Give Gemma big hugs form us. Gaile
Gemma and Aunt Kathy,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, Aunt Kathy, for updating us on Gemma. She has been on my mind and my heart breaks to hear that she is having a rough time right now. She is an amazing young lady and I think I can truly say that she is loved by all of us on here.
Miracles still happen and I will be praying hard for my dear young friend.
Give her my love and a big hug and keep us posted as often as you can.
I will also be praying for you and for all the family because it is so hard to see your loved ones suffer.
Hugs and blessings,
Joyce In NC