gemmag's Cancer Blog

March 22, 2007

CT scan

Views: 327

I’m not sure as to when I’ll be getting the results but yesterday was pretty crappy in my opinion. Not only did the teen stay up till 3am only to wake up in four hours time she was also very very VERY displeased with having to drink the barium… When it was brought out, instead of the powder mixture w/ water I had before it was a thicker banana flavored kind. I was so disgusted. The sour chocolate milk flavor tasted so much better then this stuff. :p

I wasn’t aware that they also had to inject you with some kind of solution (I was totally out of it with apathy and sickness the first time around) to make all the blood vessels and other parts of the body glow so I wasn’t prepared to be stuck with anything. I forgot my numbing cream for my port and the worst thing was they couldn’t get a blood return or flush it the first three sticks. I wanted to cry because not only was I the most anxious person there but I have self pity moments. They are brief and I’m ashamed to admit to them, that’s what happened but I held back because the sweet nurse felt so horrible having to poke me over and over. The fourth time I was told to lay down and finally it got working, I was so relived that I didn’t have to get an IV my hand.

My current state is a little jitter bug, maybe it’s all the iced tea that I’ve been slowly trying to ween myself off of before Tuesday my next chemo round rolls on by. Or maybe, I’m really nervous and want the results now just so my dissipating faith is confirmed that I’m clean.

In other words, life is okay. My father has calmed down and even made dinner tonight. He has his streaks, after his mother calls. It should last about a week but I’m hoping for more.

Oh hm… My mother sent me a card. Through the mail with a stamp and all. It’s two dogs swimming in a really pretty lake carrying a rope toy in their mouths and inside it says “I’m with you all the way” and that caused a few tears. She’s a saint and I don’t know where I would be without her. I’d be so lost as to what to do, lately I’ve realized that I need to learn to be more independent or at least learn how to be when it comes to business things like stupid insurance. Which I did get kicked off of as soon as I turned 19. We are currently in a rut and fighting to get back on since I legally am a student at the moment and have every right to be a dependent.

Well, goodnight ladies. It’s 3am and that’s my hint to get myself to bed. Take care, much love.

Gem

Posted on March 22, 2007 at 12:05:27 AM by Gemma ( CT scan, 2 comments)

I’m so sorry you had a bad time! I wish I could make it all magically go away. Your mother sounds wonderful. Can’t tell you how much that helps the rest of us – knowing you have someone like her to lean on. I’ll be praying.
Hugs!
Karen

Posted on March 22, 2007 at 9:50:13 PM by kleebeck

Hang in there! I too wish I could magically make it all go away. Remember that we’re all here for you as well!
How far are you from Samantha? I think she’s in Philly and you’re in Pittsburgh? I’ll be in Portland Maine in 2 weeks…just a crazy thought…maybe the 3 of us should try to get together some day…

Posted on March 23, 2007 at 7:47:11 AM by tanya